The Journey from Wife to Widow

Ladies, most of you are not widows...but perhaps there is something in this writing that will minister to you...number one that God is faithful to equip us for whatever place we are called to walk...

I never wanted to be a widow, not that anyone does, but when I began this journey twenty-two months ago, all I could feel was extreme pain and loss. I knew life as I had known it was over, and it was.

I recalled how eagerly I had approached my wedding day almost thirty-three years before. Marriage was what I had dreamed of all of my life, and even though it came with many adjustments, I loved my role as Mike’s wife. I thought of other dreams that were fulfilled during those precious years of marriage….the title of “Mom” was probably the most awesome, although becoming a grandma ranked up there, too!

Each one of those new assignments had come without instructions but eagerly I had searched for information that would equip me for each role. I had talked with others, read books, and investigated anything that would help me to be a better wife, mother, or grandmother.

Then abruptly, over night, I went from wife to widow – I didn’t recognize it then as a new role. I just saw it as an ending of my dreams. Yet finally, after many months of grieving, I realized that I stood with a choice: I could learn to embrace this as a new assignment and expect God to bring forth glory, or I could remain a broken vessel. Then I prayed, “God, help me to see the hidden treasure in this darkness.”

What treasure have I found so far?
· As I have learned to embrace this path as one chosen for me by God, my “alone” time has become precious time with Him. Isaiah 54:5 says “your Maker is your husband!”
· As I have learned to look to Him, expecting Him to turn this pain into glory, I have seen His hand move in wonderful and unexpected ways. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds me that “His plans for me are for good and not for evil to give me a future and a hope.”
· As I have learned to count my blessings in the midst of the ambushes of grief, my pain has been eased. James 1:2-3 does say to “Count it all joy when you go through trials and tribulations.”
· As I have opened my heart to others who are hurting, I have seen II Corinthians 1:4 fulfilled…”who comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God.”

Is this an assignment I would have chosen? No! But I am learning that there truly is treasure in the darkness. With His help, I will continue to search for it. Isaiah 45:3 LT And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness--secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name